Märgid, mis näitavad, et te pole enam noor…
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Leidsin sellise listi kusagilt:
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around
you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s
leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the
beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely
upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not
condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate
them instead of asking “Oh crap – what the H— happened?”
Meil on siin anekdoodiveerg…Kohanemine millega?
Ma usun, et mõned inimesed on vanad, tunnevad ennast alati vanemana, hoolimata sellest, millega nad hetkel ühiskonna arvates kohanenud peaksid olema.
jaah, anekdoodi mudugi. Aga. Nalja saab selliste asjade üle visata, millest osalised aru saavad. või? teeme absurdi? (ja siis oleme kokku leppinud, et teeme absurdi…et teadlikult nihestame asju. aga mina ei usu, et keegi ei usu, et vanus ja vanadus on olemas.)
Vanus ja vanadus on muidugi konstruktsioonid. Nende eksisteerimine igas ühiskonnas ja juhtumine kõigi inimestega annab paraku alust uskuda, et mitte tühjale kohale tekkinud. Et erinevused on detailides, mitte sisus. anekdoodid on omal kohal
” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/wink@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>
” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>Age is mostly a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. ~ Mark Twain
Leidsin sellise listi kusagilt:1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around
you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s
leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the
beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely
upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not
condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate
them instead of asking “Oh crap – what the H— happened?”
jeebus foken kraist! kõik läks täppi, v.a. nr 5 ja 6
” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>Leidsin sellise listi kusagilt:…
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
….
Seda sai keskkooli ja ülikooli ajal praktiseeritud . Ei kujutanud siiamaani ette , et vanaduses samamoodi käituma hakatakse
” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>Aga see on päris hea :
Tightening your belt becomes uncomfortable under your armpits.
Mõned veel:
You often repeat things…You often repeat things… You often repeat things…
You and your teeth don’t sleep together
Getting “lucky” means you found your car in the parking lot
You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good
When happy hour is a nap
Leidsin sellise listi kusagilt:1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around
you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s
leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the
beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely
upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not
condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate
them instead of asking “Oh crap – what the H— happened?”
Growing Up
” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>Professor, kes oli väga kuulus oma skleroosi (altshaimer) tõttu, kohtas tänaval üht tuttavat:
“Mul on au teid kutsuda homme väikesele koosviibimisele minu kodus. Muide, lubas tulla ka professor Ulman!”
“Vabandage, aga mina olengi Ulman!”
“See pole tähtis, tulge ikka!”
Kohtuvad tänaval kaks vanemat härrasmeest . Esimene hüüab:
“Heh , tere Jüri , vana sõber . Sa oled nii muutunud , et sind ei tunne äragi”
Teine vastu:
“Tere-tere , aga ma ei ole Jüri , ma olen Tõnu”
Esimene:
” Heh krt , nime ka muutnud”
Kohtuvad tänaval kaks vanemat härrasmeest . Esimene hüüab:“Heh , tere Jüri , vana sõber . Sa oled nii muutunud , et sind ei tunne äragi”
Teine vastu:
“Tere-tere , aga ma ei ole Jüri , ma olen Tõnu”
Esimene:
” Heh krt , nime ka muutnud”
” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>Kaks vanaprouat rääkisid teed juues oma abikaasadest. Esimene ütles:”Mulle meeldiks, kui Alf oma küünte närimise lõpetaks. See on nii vastik komme.”
Ta sõbranna kostis vastu:”Minu Leonardil oli sama komme. Aga suutsin teda sundida sellest harjumusest loobuma.”
“Oi, räägi mulle sellest. Kuidas sa seda tegid?”
“Ma peitsin ta valehambad ära!”
Ajalehereporter küsitles 104 aastast vanaprouat.
“Mis on 104 -aastase vanuse juures parim asi?” küsis reporter.
“Et te ei pea kellegagi ühevanune olema,” vastas naine.
Üks märk vanadusest pidi olema see kui küünlad sünnipäevatordil maksavad rohkem kui tort ise.
” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>Üks märk vanadusest pidi olema see kui küünlad sünnipäevatordil maksavad rohkem kui tort ise.” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>Väga nunnu!
” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/biggrin@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>” srcset=”/uploads/emoticons/wink@2x.png 2x” width=”20″ height=”20″>
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